Living through others & How Codependents Waste Their Lives Away
Self Confidence 101 Mini Class – GodFidence Podcast | By Queentessence
Let’s talk about living through others…
Are you living? Are you experiencing the life that you want to experience or are you doing this just to please someone specific in your life? your spouse? your siblings? your mother? Your father?
Do believe that you are worthy of having the life experiences you desire?
Or are you getting these feelings though watching others experience them?
Just because you keep thinking “I’m too old to xyz” or it’s too late for me to xyz or it’s easier for them because of xyz
I have to admit that I have lived the biggest part of my life just to please my mother. Prove her that I could accomplish things and all I wanted was her approval and love.
All I wanted was to hear her say “I’m proud of you”.
Now looking back after waking up to this, though it took me having to reach a burnout when I asked myself if it weren’t for this, would I ever have gone through chasing all these goals?
Would I have ever wanted to be at the top?
If I was brought up thinking that just being me was enough to receive love, attention, and respect, would I have chased all of this?
The answer was a plain no…
And right there my entire life felt like a lie. I wasn’t doing all those things for the reasons I had thought…
Deep down all along, what my heart kept telling me was, I want to be a writer. Even though for someone creative like me there’s hundreds of things we can excel at, all I ever wanted was to live in a nice secluded place and spend my days writing. Releasing books. Imagining stories or creating powerful self-help books that would serve as my legacy.
Attending events where intellectual conversations would be exchanged.
When you put any kind of pressure on someone else over what they should do with their lives, you rob them.
You rob them from becoming who God wants them to become. You rob them from allowing them to impact their surroundings with their natural genius.
You derail them from their path. You break off the strength and alignment with their inner intuition.
You put yourself between them and God.
I get it as a parent or someone who just cares, you want what’s best for them.
You’re certain that you know what is best for them because you’re older and have life experience they don’t.
But do you know better than God himself?
Will you ever, could you ever?
Offering guidance yes, pressuring no
Advice should only be taken from the ones who have the life you want to have.
Part 2:
As I’m seating writing this, about six months have passed…
With further inner work, I came to realize that my wanting of writing fictional stories came from the fact that I didn’t believe deep down that I was worthy of experiencing the life and adventure I wanted to live for myself.
I also bought into the false belief that others could have all the things and the fun…but not me.
This came from how my childhood brain interpreting things that were told to me. The real truth is that I, deep and deeper down my heart wanted to have the lives I was creating through those fictional stories.
I stumbled upon some of these stories a few days ago… and digging deeper, I realized that it was more about the strength of the main characters, I wanted to be like and feel like.
And as I pounder on this even more… I see that isn’t that what everyone truly wants..?
The freedom to completely be ourselves without the fear of judgment or rejection…
Just like when we were kids… Before the world told us what was good or bad, acceptable or not…